I BELIEVE I HAD A MENTAL BREAKDOWN

It has been over six weeks since I have written any blogs. I actually barely slept any in the month of June. I got maybe 2 hours a night. I honestly thought it was all the things going on energetically within the world. But honestly, now looking back over my writings I am taking a pause. Could it have been because I was remembering a very traumatic event in the past?

After Rick told me he wasn’t moving to Nashville I lost it. I shut down. I didn’t know what to do. I felt I couldn’t tell Mary, my friend and boss, what was going on. Now, looking back I really don’t understand why I felt I couldn’t talk to Mary about this. She was and still is a very caring, loving, and understanding person. Analyzing now it actually feels more like I was traumatized by Rick’s decision and that rocked my world. He had always been so supportive of my career and was a big part of my successes in it. I didn’t understand why he would have made such a drastic decision after he had agreed only several months earlier to make the move. My mind was in a whirlwind of thoughts as to why he had.

I ended up calling in sick to work. I didn’t tell Mary then what was going on. I am really having a hard time recalling the exact events. I honestly believe I had a nervous breakdown at this point. I had been through many trials but the last few years had been one thing after another. From the time I had taken the first promotion and moved to the Savannah, Ga. office in May 1993 till then the fall of 1996, I had been in an extreme amount of internal and external stress and had made two big moves in our home and my career.

I don’t even remember if I ever went back to work in the Brentwood, Tn. office. I actually ended up not returning to work for a period of time. I was very fortunate that my real estate agent who sold me the house in Nashville had been interested in the house. He ended up buying it from me for his son.

The exact memories are not where I can access them but I know we packed everything back up that wasn’t unpacked and Rick and I ended up moving back to Rome, Ga. We stayed for a short period with some friends James and Marie. It was really touch and go for a while. I wasn’t even really sure my marriage was going to survive. I just had no idea of how my life was going to be changed drastically within the next year or so.