THE SECOND THIRD OF MY LIFE BEGINS…

I have been going over ideas about finishing up one book about my life that ends as Rick transitions in July 1997 or do I continue on. For some reason it’s like I cannot decide as of yet. I am sure everything will unfold as it is supposed too. Finding that transition from sadness and loss to being ready to move forward with my life after Rick was gone was something I just jumped head forward into.

Once I found a house and moved from the rental house where Rick passed everything was much lighter. Gradually, I come out of the mourning and sadness. I remember going back to work pretty fast, within 30 days of his passing. I really didn’t take any time to truly process the loss then. A year later I felt the need to just take 30 days away from work and gather myself.

It was fall, the air was much cooler and crisper. There was a lake near the house, I bought, with a walking trail around it. I took off the month of October 1998. I would walk that lake and just try to see where I should go from there. Here’s another one of those parallels. Walking the track. I am now at a place where I need a reset; a new beginning like I was back then, too. Here I am beginning a healthy me journey and walking the track at a nearby park.

The person I was back then and who I am now is so different. It’s like night and day. I am so much more aware of what’s really going on now. I was so confused back then about who I was and how to move forward. Today, I know who I am and I am already making list of things I need to do in preparation of this next phase of my life.

Even taking those 30 days, I really didn’t feel into the pain and loss of Rick. I was just ready to go forward and find happiness. If you follow my blog, you know I just recently let myself feel the pain and loss that Rick’s death had left me with. I didn’t realize it then but I had set myself up for the illness that was to come.