Unfolding and Becoming

After that very emotional blog I wrote in February of 2020 “Detours”, as I stated in my last blog I didn’t write again till May 2020. During these months I was processing so much from the previous year like my first past life remembrance. There was so much that went on in 2019 when I really began the most intense period of spiritual awakening. I was still dealing with A#2 and finally getting her out of the house mid March.

I wrote a few blogs from May 2020 about my life up till July 2020. Then I did not write again until April 2021. Almost a whole year had passed without writing. What was I doing? I have spent time looking over things like pictures, and trying to recall what was going on with me during this period. I was truly going within myself. I recall many days just looking back over my life and trying to understand why things had transpired as they had.

Why had I made decisions that I made. It was of course the height of Covid lockdowns and restrictions. Most everyone was isolating. Yes, those of us who had major transformations during this period used something that was intended to cause us harm for good. We sat with our emotions. We looked at our lives and really examined them from an external perspective. We learned about ourselves and how our childhood really affected us as adults.

I learned about how my moms depression and alcoholism affected me in so many ways. The patterns I developed to make it through my life with my mom followed me into my adulthood. I not only delved deep into myself but I studied about childhood traumas and various other subjects during this period.

I don’t know where you are currently in your own journey. I hope you have begun a journey within to truly understand yourself and why you are the person you are today. I hope you are opening yourself up to more. I hope you are letting down your hard fast beliefs to just be open to the fact there is so much more than what you have been taught. That there are things that we have not been told the truth about.

During the period from July of 2020 till April of 2021 I recall many days of just letting my emotions pour out. I rested. I did things that brought me comfort. I gave myself a break and didn’t constantly push myself to be on the go. I begin allowing my nervous system time to unwind. I had spent over 50 years of being in a state of flight or fight honestly.

If you are at this place now in your life where I was back then, please give yourself a break. We aren’t meant to constantly be achieving or doing. It’s ok to take time for yourself. We are human “BEINGS” so just BE! Maybe you went through a layer of awakening like I did these past five years and now you find yourself at a new unsure place.

It’s like an ending and you aren’t sure where you are heading. Well just breathe and do as we did five years ago BE. This journey is about unfolding and becoming. We move through periods of forward growth and then we must stop and open up and learn more about ourselves and allow what is to come next without pushing or being hyper viligant. Give yourself grace, rest, peace, and most of all self love.